Some Reflections on the APPR

I know I will be assigned a number this year to quantify my professional essence.  I've thought about the derivation of the numbers and the degree to which I can actually influence the outcome.  I have joked that my first set of numbers should be my first tattoo.

There is a part of the formula that reflects my teaching practices.  The rubric puts a premium on showcasing the students.  This is all very well and good, but when students sit in their lecture halls at a university, they may be sadly disappointed to learn that there is one expert in the room and it is not all about spontaneous student eruptions.  

My evaluation depends in large part upon the students in my room.  If my students do not speak English, they will be less than likely to erupt spontaneously as Danielson demands of highly effective teachers.  If my students are hungry, stressed out or otherwise distracted, our ship will float, but it may not be full-speed ahead.

Some teachers invite their A.P.s in for six observations; they are the smart ones.  I prefer to shoot myself in the foot.  You'd think if I had a student-centered lesson, I'd be smart enough to invite my A.P. over, but I'm not.  It's antithetical to my nature.  I do my job every day, as do my colleagues, and I'd prefer not to "put on a show."  I'd like to think that I design student-centered lessons,  with debates, presentations and group work, purely for the benefit of my students, not for the sake of an outside observer.

Of course, a large part of my evaluation will be the growth in student test scores.  I teach in my classroom, but I also give assignments to be completed at home, including studying.  I can largely control what happens in my classroom.  I have almost no control, however, over what happens outside my classroom.  I can make a few phone calls home, but they may have no effect.  I cannot threaten to take away a student's phone if said student does not study.  I resent the fact that I may be fired for factors over which I, ultimately, have very little control.  

I am aware that the APPR this year includes domains related to a teacher's participation in school activities.  I have always made a point to see the school musical.  I have always loved musicals and sometimes there is the added benefit of seeing my students perform.  I'd hate to think people now go to the shows just to rake up APPR points.  

A student invited me to a J.V. basketball game this year.  It turned out I had three kids on the team.  I ended up going to another game.  I clapped and shouted (only the good things because I am now a teacher) like crazy.  With something like five overtimes, it was "mad" exciting and a world of fun.  I never would have told my AP, "I went to the game, give me some APPR points!"  I went only to see my students.  It just so happened another AP noticed me there, doubtless yelling my head off, and mentioned it to my AP.  She mentioned it to me and said it fits a Danielson domain.  Sometimes, I get lucky, I guess.  In fact, I guess, looking back, I've been far luckier than the average bear.

We have all had to step out of our comfort zones this year.  I had to "manufacture" artifacts.  I made copies of copies, sometimes at home because the department machine went on strike.  I put together a sample lesson plan which, in reality, wouldn't be of much use to me, but it sure looked a little more showy than my originals.  Then, I copied some e-mails, my phone log, my grade book, my delaney book, some student work and the kitchen sink.  I even made copies of some copies, thinking I might need to submit the same "junk" stuff again and again and again....  Happily, this seems not to be the case.  But gosh, it looks like I will have to slap together some Unit Plans instead, for show.  These Unit Plans, fitted to someone else's form, will be of absolutely no practical use to me.

I have worked very hard thus far in my career.  I have rarely sat down in the classroom except when pregnant.  I have always, almost without exception, handed students' papers back the next day.  When I was a new teacher, I ran clubs, took Model UNs on trips, including overnight, chaperoned students to Italy, went to a number of conferences and wrote some curriculum.  Now, I am in a different stage of life.  I am older and I have little children of my own.  Although I believe I can still outrun most younger teachers, I would hate to think that I am being held up to a standard that, perhaps, only a twenty year old can maintain, for better or for worse.

A lot comes with experience.  As one loses speed, one gains much more.  Everything is put in perspective.  Things that seemed important in the past, sometimes don't amount to much any more.  I do not understand how deformers can merrily set about reforming the entire school system when they have only spent a few years in the classroom.  

I have been constantly evolving in my profession.  For me, teaching started with a feeling, quantify it, if you can, a love of history.  It became an appreciation of where my ancestors fit into the past and how it has shaped who I am today.  Then, I came to realize that my love of history is really a love for humanity.  Now, I appreciate that the things we do today will shape the history of tomorrow.  Ultimately, the older I get, the more I realize how little I know and the more I appreciate that my job helps me continually grow in an understanding of humankind.   

So, when I am rated for my APPR this year and next year and until everything is drained out of me, I wonder what my numbers will say.  I feel they are already out there somewhere, getting ready to speak to me.  And, I wonder if I might not be better off just shutting my ears and turning my gaze upwards.  Vissi D'arte.