Time to Say Goodbye, Retro?

When considering the new contract, I was painfully made aware of the fact that I would need to wait until the year 2020 to secure all my lump-sum payments because retro is "not a God-given right" (Michael Mulgrew, May 19, 2014, webcast). 

In his webcast, Michael Mulgrew indicated that it is not currently stated in the contract whether beneficiaries of teachers who die before 2020 will receive the lump sums of those for whom they are grieving.  I imagine this is "not a God-given right" either.  Mulgrew did say, however, the Union would work to make sure that family's in distress get what's coming to them.  I believe him.  Although Mulgrew has promised to fight for our estate, we will lose the retro if we are fired, dismissed or so discouraged we give up.  Kiss your retro, goodbye!

MY TOP-TEN WAYS YOU MIGHT KISS YOUR RETRO GOODBYE

10.  Our department might actually win the Mega Millions for which it periodically pools its money in the hopes of potentially escaping educational deformity.  But if we do win, we lose retro.  Arrivederci, Retro!

9.  We might suffer "Death by Danielson," now eight elements, but still six observations.  Mulgrew says, "get over it," but what if some of us don't?  What if we die at the hands of Danielson instead?  Adieu, Mon Ami, Retro!

8.  What if we get a new mayor, my school closes, I become an ATR, I yell twice in the hallway and I am carted away for a new expedited one-day hearing.  I am fired.  Adios all my hard-earned cash!  You'll hear me yelling now, "Ciao, Retro!"

7.  What if our spouses' jobs at Walmart are outsourced to Bangladesh and we must pick up and move to maintain our standard of living?  Do svidan’ya, Retro! 

6.  What if, God forbid, a kid becomes crazed out of his mind from the Common-Core curriculum and returns to school with a weapon.  What if I take a bullet in an attempt to stop him, somehow survive, but am so entirely traumatized and disheartened that I must resign.  I'd be a hero.  You could bet though, I'd lose my retro.  Ja mata ne / じゃまたね, Retro! (That's Japanese.  I looked it up!)

5.  What if I go to Disneyworld and am convinced by my own children to take up permanent residence in one of their parks?  Zai jian/再见, Retro!  (Chinese, I looked that one up, too!)

4.  What if all this nonsense, makes me so discouraged that I decide to leave the profession I love so much and settle like a reclusive hermit in those far-away hills over yonder.  See ya, Retro!

3.  What if I get hit by truck, or a Success Academy chauffeur going to bring a kid to school on time for his Common-Core testing, and there is no one except a beloved pet to whom I might leave my money.  Bon voyage, Retro unless they let me leave it all to you, dear Fido.  You lucky, dog!

2.  What if like Gregor Samsa, I wake up one morning in this age of educational deformity to find that I have metamorphosed into a giant cockroach?  Auf Wiedersehen, Retro!

1.  What if I decide to toe the Unity line and willingly carry out all my marching orders to perfection with ne'er a question.  I might be promoted to a full-time salary exceeding what I make as a teacher, with far better conditions, far fewer evaluations and a double pension.  Sounds attractive, no?  But Sayonara, Retro!  We must never forget that sometimes the Unity faithful will be asked to make sacrifices, too!