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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Wouldn't It Be "Loverly" if Robots Taught Children?

Might there not be some advantages to having robots teach school children?  To begin with:

10.  Human beings won't have to make kids suffer through Common-Core test prep anymore.  

9.  If the teacher tries to break up a fight, the teacher probably won't be hurt much.  I saw one online comment responding to whether it should be that robots replace teachers:  

"Whoever thinks it should is utterly stupid to be honest. If a fight breaks out in class like it has many times in my current school, are the robots going to let out sleeping gas to stop the fight? Its a silly thought."

Actually, the point about a robot releasing "sleeping gas" seems anything but "silly," given the situation described at the school.  One just needs to know how to ensure that there are no negative side effects and that only the perpetrators are targeted.

8.  The robot can double as a scantron machine and spit out test scores with a vengeance.  If students ask the teacher for their current grade, the robot will have an answer in a millisecond rounded to the ten-thousandths place, serving to only further confuse the student.

7.  If a robot demands more pay, he can easily be replaced by another robot.

6.   The robot may literally be able to have eyes on the back of his head.

5.  If the robot has to sit through hours of PD, he can run his head into a wall without suffering permanent brain damage.

4.  If a kid curses the robot, he can reply, "That does not compute."

3.  If a kindergarten student begins to cry in class, the robot can soothe the child by telling him that he, too, misses his "mom-my."  

2.  If the lessons get too dull, the kids can practice their technical skills by disabling the robot.  

1.  Since robots don't have feelings, they probably don't give a gosh darn that their students have been programmed to fail.

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