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Saturday, February 14, 2015

And They Call the Hand Blower Maria!

Blustorm Hands-Free High-Speed Dryer - 9x7-1/2 x12"
Looks Innocent Enough, Hey?

There's a new storm sweeping public education, at least in my school.  It is called Blustorm.  It hit our school last year.  It is a high-powered hand-drying machine.  Although these machines appear to be expensive, doubtless, it was installed to save money.  Paper towels are a thing of the past--at least for teachers.  I hear students are still privy to them.  

Perhaps, I can do my part to save the environment.  More likely than not, however, these machines unintentionally terrorize teachers and their colleagues.  Lean in too close to the sink and BAM, you've triggered its jet propulsion.  Its sonic boom will perpetually catch you off guard.  Use it when, unbeknownst to you, a colleague is too near and, BAM, water has been launched like a high speed projectile at your unsuspecting colleague.

The repercussions of this technology reach even further.  Students bring their free breakfast to class.  Oops!  There goes a carton of milk.  Spilt.  No use crying over it.  But what about cleaning it up?  Where will you find a paper towel in the building?  Must a student miss valuable class time to replenish your deficit from his student bathroom?

Achoo, achoo and triple achoo!  Students are sneezing everywhere.  Noses are running.  Where is a student to find tissues?  You only have a stash of used napkins; some soaked with milk by now.  Yuck!  Paper towels are a rare commodity in your Common-Core aligned world gone crazy.  God forbid a child gets a nosebleed and all you have to offer him is your superb lesson plan!  

And, to add to the horror of it, hand dryers have been proven to harbor a plethora of bacteria.  The heated environment is the perfect petri dish to grow the wrong kind of culture in school.  Then, when the hot air blasts, the germs are scattered every which way, seemingly by the force of hurricane-speed winds.  

When potential cost cutting conflicts with science, we all know who must step aside in public education.  Studies show that simply rubbing hands with a towel is far more effective not only in drying hands, but also in disposing of germs.  According to the Wall Street Journal, "blowers tend to spread bacteria between 3 and 6 feet from the device."  I'd hazard a conservative guess that our machine blasts germs 7 to 10 feet.  With all the potential germs in a bathroom, and a school one at that, there must be better ways to save the environment and save on subs!

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